wavesinjuly:

suckmyphallus:

getterbeam:

imagine if you named your kid dad. just dad.

image

Actually that’s just his nickname. His real name is [trucks honking], but everyone just calls him dad.

thequeenofhell:

what Americans imagine being Australian means

image

...

luxvriously:

My anaconda will consider it

  • me: [gently touches the sleeping cat]
  • cat: [makes a tiny cat noise]
  • me: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh nooooooooooooooooooooooooo ohh noo ohhhhh nooooooo oh no oh nooooo oh my god oh noooo